Deep down we all want to feel loving. And that's a good instinct when it comes to getting more affection, because most of us are more easily able to feel warm feelings of care towards people who are loving towards us. It's like the good old golden rule...But it's not always so easy to "do unto other as you would have done to yourself". Especially in a long-term relationship.
Because, after the initial love-stoked hormones begin to wear off after a year or so, we humans have the tendency to see what is wrong with our significant other, and to focus on it (this can be even more true for highly sensitive people). Which squeezes out those loving feelings, smothers affection, and leaves us feeling like something is wrong with our relationship.
Here's a proven trick to stop that cycle in it's tracks, so you can give and get more affection in you relationship:
A couple notes on the trick:
#1: On the surface this may seem to easy and oversimplified. It's true that it won't be super effective if you only do it once. Make sure to make it a habit, and catch yourself when you find yourself telling the old story. Tell the better one instead, over and over.
#2: Doing this practice does not mean you should ignore deeper issues that need to be addressed or that you are being a doormat by letting your significant other "get away with things". It simply gives you more ability to decide what needs addressing and what doesn't. It gives you the freedom of choice to either feel more love or not, which is the opposite of being a doormat. You can address issues as they arise, and do this trick, as needed.
#3: It works. My clients and I have used this trick over and over with the result of feeling more love, acting more loving, and feeling it all returned by our partner, so that our relationship is way more full of affection. (That's what you want, right?)
Make sure to watch it (it takes less than 6 minutes).
Did you try it? What did it shift for you? How does it feel? Share with us below in the comments: