We humans are, well, irrational when gripped with negative emotion. And that's when we cause the most damage in our relationships. To re-gain access to the more rational wise part of our brain quickly and therefore minimize ugly interactions it's incredibly helpful to have some very practical simple go-to tools for the heat of the moment when we get triggered.
So here are two concrete tips to help you de-escalate a fight in the middle of one, or to stop one before it starts, so you can feel more peace and connection in your relationship right away. this is the third in a series about handling conflict more easily.
(For best results in reducing the pain and frequency of conflict, you may want to get some important background from the first and second posts before moving on to this one.)
There's obviously more to dive into to truly reduce the frequency and intensity of conflict in your relationship and learning how to “argue well” so that you can actually come up with solutions to problems instead of endlessly repeating and spinning in the same old issue.
Each of us has our own individual triggers for getting riled up and fighting. These triggers are the source of much of our conflict and pain in our relationships. So rooting out your unique triggers --or underlying causes - is hugely helpful if you want less reactivity and more closeness, ease, and connection with your partner.
If feeling more at ease in your relationship is important to you… if more peacefulness, more spontaneity, laughter, playfulness, sweetness are things you long for, then I highly recommend that you get some one-on-one personalized support for rooting out those triggers.
It doesn't have to be with me, but I absolutely love helping women with this. So take a look at my newest offering, Calm Your Triggers. It might be just the thing you need to make conflict a non-issue, and to feel closer to your partner than ever.
Have a question or comment? I'm all ears! Post below, I'll respond.