Today's Valentine's day. Which can feel lonely, sad and disappointing, if you aren't feeling loved and happy in your relationship. None of that mean you aren't seen and valued. To make sure you know you are loved, I wrote you a love note.
I see you. Beneath any surface personality “flaw”. You are beautiful. You're so lovable. Even if you forget sometimes, get caught up in your own suffering and all the reactions that come from it—I see you. I see it in all the women I work with and meet. Can you do this for yourself? See through the imperfections, your human shortcomings? A few weeks ago I went on a retreat. In that quieter space, I was surprised to watch a lot of old self judgment re-surface. I could feel it boxing me in, closing me down, keeping me mute and disconnected from others around me.
I kept telling myself things like I “should be more outgoing”, I “should be better at meeting new people by now” and “I shouldn’t be anxious here”, etc. . Once I caught on to my old tricks and recognized it was just my old pattern of judging myself — an unconscious backwards way to motivate myself to be MORE/ better/ enough, I was able to let it slowly fall away. (Self-coaching, journaling, and yoga are what did it!)
What I was left with was a clear sense of the loving nature at my core.
That is what we are deep down under all the other stuff. Knowing this of myself makes it so easy to see it in YOU. Can you see and feel it, too? It matters so much that you see through your flaws yourself and remember who you are at your core. It will change your life when you do.
If this doesn't come easily right now, please borrow my eyes, and see your own loving core through them. Borrow my belief in you. Until it becomes your own.
Then you'll know in your bones you have everything you need to feel so much love in your life. Once you choose it fully.
On that note, the work to improve and love your relationship starts with rekindling your connection to your own vitality, love, and joy in your own life.
To that end, today I offer you this episode of Love Talks On a Walk With Hannah (my audio blog), Rekindling Your Spark, to help you increase the level of enjoyment and love you have for your own life.
By posing some really powerful questions, it'll help you not only feel better in general, but also improve the quality of love and vitality in your relationship with your partner. To make the most of it, be sure to take out a pen and answer the questions I ask for yourself.
Along the same lines, check out my most recent Tiny Buddha article (if you missed it): Why Highly Sensitive People Make Amazing Life Partners
Share your comments or questions below!