So many sensitive souls like us are motivated by making a difference here in our world. If you share this desire-- and your marriage or relationship is feeling hard these days-- I’m writing this for you. Read on to see how they are linked.
I myself feel most fulfilled when I’m making a meaningful contribution to those people whose lives I touch. This desire to be of real service has lead me to doing what I do now--being a relationship coach. I feel I was born to help people have more love in their lives.
And I believe it’s the most positively impactful thing I could do for you and all of us. Because when you choose to grow in love you become such a strong force for good in this world.
But not everyone can see this easily. Many people think having more love in their lives and feeling happier is selfish. Or they UNDER-VALUE it, not seeing how important it is to others, or to their own lives. They may inadvertently put money, or career success, above having loving healthy relationships.
I think this is just a bit of confusion. Of not seeing quite straight.
Because, ask yourself right now, what do you TRULY WANT? And WHY do you want that? If you trace that far enough you will likely land here: I want to feel good.
We value money and success because we think having lots of it will make us feel good. Or we want to seem not-selfish because we think it will gain us approval-- which will make us feel good.
Ultimately we all just want to feel good. And the deepest good feeling of all is a sense of real belonging, to feel truly loved and to love in return. It is our human need, and our deepest pleasure.
But we live in a world that has not taught us how to LOVE others, how to KEEP loving, how to BE loved, and how to love OURSELVES no matter what. We just don't live in a time and a place where that’s the focus.
Sadly, the negative impact of this is everywhere. Not just on the news, and in the tabloids, or in other people’s lives, but in our own homes, in our own marriages. People STRUGGLE when it comes to love. I get to hear all about it all the time!
As you know, the divorce rate in the USA is quite high (somewhere around 45%). AND lots of the couples who do stay together are quite unhappy, aren't feeling loved, or are in real distress--or total numbness-- in their relationship. When our very foundation of love is unsteady and rickety, life is so much more difficult. And that's a tragedy.
Because this unhappiness in our marriages doesn't just affect us. It affects our children, and our children's children. I myself have been the unhappy one, and I have been the child and grandchild of the unhappy ones. It’s stifling, distracting, draining, and painful.
And we take that unhappiness out into the rest of the world with us, and it touches the lives of all the people we come into contact with in one form or another.
Our lack of ability to love and be loved really well shows up everywhere.
What I help people do -- learn how to love well -- is a hugely important thing for our world.
Because when you know how to really love, when you know how to love who you are, when you know how to love your life, when you know how to love your partner, when you know how to receive love from them even if they're imperfect at giving it... it's like the magic recipe for feeling good and having a successful LIFE. And it has a powerful ripple effect.
I know for sure that strengthening my relationship with my man, and myself, is like fuel for all the other areas of my life, increasing my capacity for success and contribution.
Think about it: What would your life be like if you felt deeply valued, if you had people you deeply loved in your life, if you felt safe in those relationships, and totally secure in yourself? How would your days be? Your work life? Your energy levels? How much more could you accomplish? How would you be with others?
All that goodness just widens out and has the most positive impact on those around you: strangers you pass and smile at on the street, your co-workers and the people whose lives your work affects, your children, your friends. They all benefit because you have more to genuine value to offer and your joy is contagious. Even in simple ways.
Maybe that smile you gave to the sullen girl serving you coffee lifts her spirits. So she says something funny to the next person in line, and then that person feels different and has a happier experience. And impacts the person they have a meeting with...
If 1000 people felt more love in their lives-- how many more lives would that touch? What if 10,000, or 50,00 more people felt more love, how would that affect our world?
It might prevent the alienation that turns children into killers.
It might stop wars from happening.
It might vote amazing people into office.
It might solve our biggest problems on this planet-home of ours. And allow us to go on living well here for generations to come.
Growing our capacity to love is no small thing. It’s no selfish thing. It’s no silly frilly thing to focus on. It is SO powerful. It is our grandest gift to the world to create that love in our own hearts and homes.
This is why I believe in the work that I do so deeply. This is why it's my mission to help thousands of people grow the love in their lives, one person at a time.
So rest at ease in knowing you are being a huge success and making a giant difference by learning to love well. Creating healthy loving relationships-- both with yourself, and with others in your life-- is actually heroic work. Nothing matters more.
And it always starts with you.
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