Does a critical tone hurt you? Do you feel attacked easily?
I used to get so hurt from the subtlest unkind tone from my husband when he‘d said something like, “You made a plan?”
I’d defensively lash back with something like, “Don’t speak to me like that! It wasn’t up to you!!!”
I was all too good at letting it drive a silent (and fuming) wedge between us. Or fueling an unnecessary fight.
If you’re like how I was for years, you sometimes take things your partner says as an attack or get locked into mini battles that escalate—leaving you upset for hours, feeling bad about yourself and confused about the whole relationship.
If so—or if you if your partner tends to get defensive (uh, likely if he’s a man…) this 5 minute video is essential watching.
It offers an unconventional but super effective communication trick that stops these defensiveness/reactivity cycles in their tracks (think: Aikido move).
AND what you need in place in order to easily use this trick effectively —so you can come out of this kind of interaction with your partner laughing instead of fuming!
Here's the guide I mention: The 7 Most powerful Phrases To Deepen Connection In Your Marriage
In this video, I share a recent example in my life of handling a difficult situation in the way I suggest here, leading to successfully dissolving the interaction into a pain-free and growth-full experience—one I actually appreciate having had.
I walked away feeling good about myself instead of regretful and upset about it. You can totally do the same on the regular.
Like I said in the video, for these tips to work you need to be grounded in deeply knowing 1 most essential thing in your bones: you are worthy as you are.
If you are shaky in this area (hint, most of us sadly are) I spent lots of time last week helping you grow this knowing: over on instagram and my facebook page, and in last week's blog post.
You can also dive deeper in with the video I made for my community over on our facebook group, Knowing Your Own Goodness Is THE Foundation For Loving Relationships . Join the group to take a look!