If you’ve been following me for some time now, you know I talk about a whole range of things that you can do to majorly improve your marriage. But let’s not get confused: It is not complex to improve your marriage by 100%!!! It’s simple. And totally doable. Yes. For you. It might feel like you don't know where to start, or that there are too many issues at play. NOT so. You just likely haven't ever known and used an approach that made the changes you want simple and doable. Because no one taught you. Everything I’ve talked about in the past, though said in a thousand different ways, breaks down into one simple doable process that IS the solution for all of it.
And I've broken it down for you, into 4 steps. All you do is:
1. Develop Sensitive Awareness (be highly self-aware) 2. Own Your Power (be responsible for all you can) 3. Master Emotional Agency (take charge of your feelings) 4. Love On Purpose (love: yourself first and foremost, then your partner) *See P.S. For more details. In other words, you take your focus back from your husband and where he’s falling short, and use all the energy you regain to build a fiercely loving, self-advocating, high-integrity relationship with yourself, and then offer that out to your partner from the deepest most genuine place, when you are ready. Results (like easy effective communication, receiving and feeling the love that’s there, give and take of affectionate words and touch, listening and sharing what’s on your mind and in your heart with calmness and respect, more laughter and playful interactions, feeling connected no matter what comes up in your life together --and so much more good stuff!) flow naturally from here, leading to a culture of deep love, security and trust, authenticity and cherishing in your marriage.
I’ve helped 100s of women do this in their marriage, most of whom were unsure they could do it. But they did. Because the simple process they learn when they coach with me (which I still use myself all the time in my life and marriage) can be applied to any situation in any relationship successfully. Because it works. Even if you doubt yourself, or you doubt your partner, or you’re afraid you or your marriage is too uniquely messed up... When you commit to this process, stay open to it, and stay engaged with it, you CAN’T NOT get big results. It's that simple. If you’ve been thinking about doing this work with me, but you're worried that it's too hard, or complex...set those fears aside. You’ve got this when I've got you as my client. We’ll go step-by-doable-step together through the 4 step process, until you’ve got it in your bones, and your marriage is loving, light, connected, and fulfilling again. To learn exactly what it will entail for you and make sure coaching with me is the right fit for you, schedule your free consultation with me by filling out the consult application here.
A few more deets on the 4 steps process I guide you through, if you’re curious about it:
Develop Sensitive Awareness
Start tapping into the gift of your sensitivity by learning how to look with kindness and curiosity at where your own sensitive human brain is creating barriers to love (i.e unhappiness in love), so you can start harnessing your power to be in loving integrity with your sensitive self and make your marriage way better than average.
Own Your Power
Stop giving your power to your partner and circumstances outside of yourself and learn to own the huge amount of power you have over yourself (your thoughts, feelings, and actions) and your marriage, so you can meet your own essential wants and needs so well and feel way more fulfilled and peaceful--and thus free your partner to feel safe to be who he really is (and feel loved for it)...And be adored for it yourself in return.
Master Emotional Agency
Take fiercely loving leadership of your own mind, nervous system, and feelings, relating to the difficult emotions with confidence and peace, and deliberately choose emotions that bring you the security, love, lightness, respect, connection, and support YOU WANT to have in your marriage.
Love On Purpose
All the while, build in more and more love: of your partner, yes, and especially of yourself. Build it in until it’s the ground you walk on, the air you breathe.
A more thorough description of the process is HERE.
“All the good stuff is just flowing between us, thanks to you! It's such a lovely feeling to be empowered to be a love leader in your relationship. It feels right, emotionally and spiritually. When we women step into this, we have successful relationships! What we get in return is absolute devotion. What our men really WANT is to love and adore us! I feel like jello!” ~ Client
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