Ever blanked out in the middle of conflict so you forgot the point you were trying to make?
Or said something you later wish you could take back because it was harsher than you meant – or you didn’t even really mean it?
This is because your survival reactionary brain and nervous system was in “SOS mode”. In other words, your nervous system was hijacked and you were really dysregulated.
And because of it, your relationship took a hit (either momentarily, or in a more long-term way).
There are MANY different ways nervous system dysregulation can show up to the detriment of your relationship – and life in general. And you WANT to know if it is happening for you, so you can make the necessary changes.
Are YOU at all dysregualted? Take this mini quiz to see if your nervous system is dysregulated: Answer OFTEN, OCCASIONALLY, or HARDLY EVER to the following questions:
How often do you get aggravated at your partner, for no reason you can tell other than they're just there, doing what they do?
How often do you hear one insensitive comment from your spouse and either snap at him or shut right down, cold and closed off (then walk around for hours or days with a pit in your belly and chest that won't go away)?
How often do you feel bogged down by emotions like numbness, hopelessness, depression, disconnection, despair, or loneliness?
How often do you look at your spouse and just feel nothing, like you're cut off from the love you hope you still have deep down in that big heart of yours?
How often do you feel overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or frazzled in general?
How often do you feel on edge, irritable, annoyed, or aggravated in general?
How often do you snap at your partner or kids or say something out of anger or upset that you wish you could take back later?
How often do you blank out in the middle of a conflict, forgetting your train of thought?
How often do you have something you want to share with your partner, but hold it in because you don’t know if you could handle their reaction if it isn't a good one?
How often do bright lights or the sound of background music or loud noises aggravate you?
Are you easily startled?
How often are you easily irritated or stressed by small things that others don’t notice, like clutter or the sound of your spouse chewing?
How often do you sleep poorly or wake feeling un-rested?
How often do you have physical pain?
To figure out your score:
Tally how many “oftens”, “occasionallys”, and “hardly ever’s” you have. If you have even 1 oftens, or 3 occasionallys, you likely have at least some dysregulation going on. And if you have any more than that, you definitely do!
And it IS taking a toll on your happiness in general – and on the connection, love, ease, and joy you’re experiencing in your marriage.
But not to worry! Even though it does take a bit of learning and energy to turn this around, you can totally do it. And in our 4 weeks together in Foundations Of Emotional Well-Being for HSPs, I make it simple and even really ENJOYABLE (relaxing, nourishing, intriguing, sweet-feeling, and peace-infused) for you to do.
There are just a few more days left to join (doors close Monday, Dec 2nd). Learn all about it and join us now here (for 65% off!)
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