I relish being the only person in the whole house. I do my best work with that kind of space to think.
My husband and I have both been working from home a lot lately (relate?).
The other day, as he often does, he came upstairs to where I was writing to grab a drink and rustle around. Then he walked over to kiss me.
As he approached, my brain fed me the thought, “He’s interrupting me again!”, and I felt annoyed.
But I instantly noticed how icky that felt. So by the time he actually placed that kiss on my lips and turned to go I’d already re-routed my annoyed feelings into loving feelings. To “It's so sweet how much he loves me.”
Because why choose to feel annoyed when instead I can sensitize my attention to the love I have in my life?
It’s easier to do this for me these days than ever. Because I’ve been developing my Relational Sensitivity (i.e. capitalizing on the strength of my sensitivity to the BENEFIT of my relationship) for
years now.
Here are 6 Foundational Understandings that can help you do this, too:
Love is the best feeling for you. When you feel it, it is YOUR GAIN. Always.
So our goal is always love.
Our sensitive brains are wired to automatically look for and find problems, especially when things don’t go the way we want or expect. When we are sensitively aware and accepting of this fact, we don’t need to make it a big deal when our brains initially get mad or annoyed or hurt.
WE BENEFIT when we interpret our partner’s actions in the most pro-love way possible. (Instead of “He’s interrupting me!”, it’s “Oh, it's sweet how much he loves me.”). This, of course, gets us feeling more love.
Sensitive action springs naturally from here: your ability to know just what to say or do to create the most connection soars. You respond in a way that breeds a feeling of acknowledgement or affection in your partner: like offering a loving touch to their arm.
People love people who love. Our partners tend to respond with love when loved.
When you develop your Relational Sensitivity so it's in your bones, you create an environment in your marriage of more and more love every day. So even when something comes up in your relationship that triggers your sensitive brain into feelings of annoyance, anger, hurt, you know how to easily find your way back to love and harmony between you. Deeply developing your Relational Sensitivity is what we do when you coach with me. So, if you are ready to BECOME the person who naturally knows how to create the most connection possible with your partner and enjoy an ever-deepening love in your life, let's set up a chat about how to get you there. Email me at hannah@lifeisworthloving.com and say"let's talk" and we'll choose a good time to do so.
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