There’s one big mistake people make when it comes to saving their marriages, which ends up making their work so much harder:
They wait until they're asking the question, Should I stay or go? They wait until they cannot see much hope or light. They wait until they feel things are broken.
When you wait this long, it’s so much harder to regain the sense of loving your marriage. Or going ends up simply feeling easier (although it is deeply painful and financially extremely taxing!) .
This is one reason clients have tried couples counseling to no avail. They wait until their marriage is too broken, and a counselor cannot make what’s broken whole again.
Think about it like this: if you burn your house down, you can't just go in and sweep some ashes aside and put a bed in there and feel cozy and happy in your home again.
Not even with the best carpenter around will that mostly burned house feel good again this way.
No.You need to tear down the singed and structurally unsound framing, and build anew. Start fresh.
This is doable, of course! And marriage coaching is amazing at tearing down unsound structure in a marriage, and rebuilding it brick by brick into something warm, cozy, and deeply sound and long-lasting.
It just takes a lot more work than putting the fire out when it first lights the curtains.
In other words, it's a whole lot easier to stop the disconnection from swirling out of control by addressing it at the early signs of it, and building it right back in, stronger than ever.
If you notice there is more upset, more disconnection than you’d like between you and your partner, if you worry it could be the start of a disintegration process, get help now.
And, no, you shouldn't KNOW how to put things back on a great track on your own — just like you shouldn't know how to rebuild a house on your own!!
Because you were never taught the skills of love. And the skills are what make a marriage one of lasting love. Not fate, or the “right person."
Developing the skill of creating a marriage built on a strong loving foundation is the one thing that will make your marriage flourish for the long haul.
Don’t wait until you have to tear everything down. Do yourself a most loving kind favor, and build the skill of love now, so your marriage can halt the disintegration before it begins to really burn, and you can enjoy an ever deepening culture of love, intimacy, connection and joy in your marriage for all the years to come.
What better moment than now to build the solid marriage you want with your man? Set up your consult now.
Comments