Let me tell you how I went from totally stressed out to light and connected in my family and marriage--and you can. too. Years ago, in my first marriage, when we had two young kids, my husband not only went to work 40 hours a week, but then came home and spent many evenings and all weekend-long building the addition to the tiny cabin we lived in.
So I had all the parenting and housework on my hands. There was little to no time for myself. And you can imagine the noise, and overstimulation of living in a 10x12 foot space with two energetic boys under 4!
I didn't know it then, but my nervous system was chronically dysregulated. I couldn't help but be impatient with my kids, irritable one moment with my husband, then withdrawn and cold the next, and consistently quite intolerant of any "misstep" on his part. Our communication and connection really suffered because of it.
The worst part was I didn't know, or like, who I was anymore. I felt totally disconnected from the good loving ME.
It was after a while of this, when I was nearly at the end of my rope, that I discovered a few things that changed my life–because they changed my nervous system. Somehow I stumbled upon a few practices that, when I did them, made my whole system settle, made me feel at HOME in myself, in a way I hadn't in years: Relaxed, light, grounded, and like ME again.
And when I felt like that, I was patient and loving with my kids and my hubby, and we were able to connect and communicate SO much better. I knew I'd hit upon a KEY piece of being WELL in relationship, and well in myself.
Nowadays, I’ve made tending to my nervous system an integral part of my daily life. And my emotional life and my relationships show it. My family (my 16 and 19 year old sons, my 9 year old little guy, and my hubby) and I have FUN together, and all feel connected, and close like 99.9% of the time. Our house is filled with lightness, laughter, love, and cooperation.
And I know that it’s in large part because I, as the woman and center of our home life, have a (mostly) regulated nervous system because of the working knowledge I have about it and the ongoing attention I give it.
When I first started working with clients, I was excited to see that the clients who took the nervous system work I suggested more seriously–like actually DID it–made much faster strides in improving their marriage than the clients who thought this kind of self-care wasn’t relevant, and so brushed it off.
In fact, for many of my clients, working on their emotions at this foundational nervous system level was the KEY thing that unlocked a whole string of loving transformations in their marriages:
Diana went from being controlling of her hubby in a way she felt super bad about (and it was driving him to want to leave the marriage) to feeling so much lighter and chill in less than two weeks of tending to her nervous system with my guidance. AND her hubby stopped talking about leaving and started telling her how precious she was to him!
Maria discovered a lifelong underlying condition that she hadn't been able to see, even with years of therapy under her belt, because it had been masked by being in a chronic state of fight or flight. When that fell away as she did nervous system work with me, she was able to finally diagnose the underlying condition, and therefore address it, which helped her feel so much better emotionally ,and led to many positive changes with her husband and her son, too. and looking forward to a much brighter future with them.
Kassie simply felt “so much better” after a few weeks that it was “wild”. She didn't even have the urge anymore to snap at her partner or say the slightly sarcastic things she often used to, and he began responding to her with much more sweetness and loving attention.
I have many more examples of how the clients who did this nervous system work not only felt better and more centered, but they were also naturally able to apply the skills and coaching I gave them and be more skillful in their interactions with their partner, which lead to leaps and bounds increases in their connection and love between them and their partner–and the rest of their family, too.
THIS is why I created Foundations Of Emotional Well-Being For HSPs. Because I want all that for you and your family, too! I want to give you, too, a working understanding and thorough skillset to support this most fundamental aspect of your emotional –and relational–well-being.
Join us for these next 4 weeks, and enjoy the softening, settling, and ease you start feeling more consistently inside yourself, and the sweetness, connection, and lightness that starts bubbling up in your marriage and family.
Doors close Dec 2nd, and the price doubles the next time around. Register now.
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