We women have sooo much more power than you may think in love! We are a wizards at influencing how your partner interacts with us. YOU are a wizard. But perhaps you never realized this? If so, you're an "Accidental Wizard". And likely making things harder for yourself. Don't worry. You can become a much more Conscious Wizard! And make things so much easier in your marriage.
I still occasionally do some accidental wizardy, too! For example, I can make it so my husband reacts heatedly and snappishly to me. (I bet you can, too.) Like the other night-- after the amazing full week we had together, I was tired. The three boys were very loud, playing kind of aggressively, even though we were still finishing dinner. My four year old was doing the yelling thing he’s been into lately.… And I, falling into HSP overstimulation mode, started snapping at my husband. I don’t even remember what I said. My brain was on the fritz. But I know my tone was curt. After a few minutes of this, HE responded to me with an annoyed tone to match mine. It’s amazing how quickly we take other people with us with our energy! Whether it’s a grouchiness and anger-- or sweetness, understanding, and love. I know for a fact if I had kept that up for days or weeks or months-- as can easily happen in a long-term relationship-- he would’ve continued to react to me in exactly the way I don’t want him to. It would be ME creating the distance and the unraveling of our love-- because I am, one way or another, accidentally or consciously, leading our relationship. How I show up gets reflected back to me. Always. SO. Every time I notice him getting weird with me, I use that as a cue to look at how I’M fueling that. (This is stepping into conscious wizardry.) And I just decide if I'm willing to shift ME to change that... or if I’d rather just be pissy and create more of that pissy-ness in the environment around me. There's no “right” choice. There’s just what I prefer. Most of the time I prefer use the power that I have on purpose to shift things towards love. You can, too. Because, doesn’t love feel so much better than pissy-ness?
Claiming this wizard power that you have, and using it consciously to make your marriage so much better doesn’t always feel easy.
It takes a few simple skills and a good dose of courage and commitment.
But I can tell you that doing it with the help of a coach who teaches you exactly how to harness that powerful influence you have is a LOT EASIER and more fun than living for years --or the rest of your life-- in an unhappy unfulfilling marriage. (Talk about HARD!)
If you’re ready to discover and use the power that you have to make your marriage the light, peaceful, loving one you want, hit reply and say “let’s talk”.
We’ll set up a time to look together at exactly where things are going awry in your relationship, and what you need to make your marriage what you want it to be. Then I'll help you decide whether or not it’s the right choice to get my help to do this work that will make your whole future full of love and security.
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